Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Bueller... Bueller...

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it."

Thus the philosophy in Ferris Bueller's Day Off laid bare.

But wait a second, Mr. Bueller. I have considered your position, and I find in untenable. Perhaps it is time for a fresh review of this rarely questioned filmic maxim.

Talk about moving fast - how long is your 'day off,' Mr. Bueller? You hang out at home, round up your friends, have lunch, go to ball game, visit the museum, dance in a parade, hoist your friends car on bricks, go swimming, have a life altering epiphany (albeit the actual epiphany is carried out by your ersatz Dr. Watson, undercutting your own, self serving prominent role in your own narrative. Who's the main character now, bitch?) race through various backyards, and are home in bed before the clueless parental metaphors get home.

Phew. I'm exhausted just writing about it. Surely you needed a day off to recover from your day off! This doesn't sound like slowing down to take it all in to me. No, in fact, it suggests that there is some form of time travel involved. Perhaps this movie deserves a place of honour in the canon of science fiction, right between Back to the Future and... er... Back to the Future 2!

Perhaps, Mr. Bueller, if you had slowed yourself down, and taken time to consider the ramifications of your argument, you might have said something like the following...

"Life moves pretty fast. I mean, who woulda thunk that funny teacher with the flat voice woulda gone on to have his own game show and become the Micheal Moore of the raving, wild-eyed right wing?"

Tomorrow I shall re-examine the Jurassic Park series through the lens of Marx's phases of historical progress, Jurassic Park (feudalism), The Lost World (capitalism), Jurassic Park III (communism) and the forth coming Jurassic Park IV (corresponding to the Marxian historical phase of milking-this-until-it-bleeds-ism).

No comments: