Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Facebook Flirting

A buddy of mine told me this story the other day;

He was at a poetry event picking up women. Now, maybe you're thinking what I was thinking, that you'd rather look from your woman in a very different setting, like backstage at a fashion show or an all night video game arcade. No, he ensures me that poetry readings are ideal because simply bathing on any kind of regular basis elevates you way above your competition of male poets. And he does have a point.

Anyway, he chatted up this one post-modern bird and they seemed to have a groove (isn't that how you talk when you're on the make?) until she said, sorry, I'm seeing someone so I can't give you my number. But let's chat on Facebook.

So there it is. A new phase in romance. The deniable Facebook friendship. When your cell phone rings and your significant other says, "Who's Brad?" you have to quickly make up some kind of lie. But on Facebook, you're only friends - it says so right on the page. How is your guy or girl supposed to know which of the over two thousand friends you have are actual friends, people you secretly don't want to talk to, or potential lovers waiting in the wings? They don't.

Facebook has become one gigantic guilt free sex prowl. They have all kinds of Facebook applications where all you do is rapidly click through pictures, looking for ones you like. It's like eBay for dating. It's a whole new way of flirting, without actually risking anything. People only see what you want them to see. Like the Furries.

But I will say this for Facebook. It's a seller's market. I have heard many, many stories about the time and effort people put in chatting with someone they deem attractive to get a face to face date. You really have to work on it - and chances are you're not the only one working on that particular target. For the first time in history, work-a-holics have a leg up in the dating department. We would celebrate but I got this big report I got to work on, honey.

And in conclusion, Facebook's mass appeal is exactly this - a dating site that looks nothing like a dating site. A lonely people hook-up machine. Wait until the stories start coming out about the Facebook affairs...

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